Archive for the ‘Dear Me MR’ Category
Alienated
Dear Earthlings,
Why do you cover your bodies with colored cloth?
Why do you stick your tongues in each other’s mouths?
Why do you sit for hours in front of screens with moving pictures?
Why do you exchange pieces of paper and disks of metal?
Why do you kill each other?
Why don’t you feed starving people?
Why do you lock your neighbors in cages?
Why do you judge others by their skin color?
Why do you labor so strenuously?
Why do you run circular courses and repeatedly lift heavy objects?
Why are men in uniforms of one color placed in arenas opposite men in uniforms of another color while people look on and cheer the progress of first one and then the other group?
Why are there establishments where men give money to women who take off their clothes?
Why do you hide inside buildings when people on the other side of your walls are being mistreated?
Why do people with projectile weapons patrol your streets?
Why are some of you lonely when there are so many of you on the planet?
Why do you keep producing more offspring when you can’t even take care of those who are already alive?
Why are some men and women paired together?
Why are there people without places to sleep when there are so many empty buildings?
Why do you die?
Why do you have so many languages?
Why do some of you tell others what to do…
And why do people do what others tell them to do?
Can each of you think for himself?
Why are you so dependent on machines?
Why aren’t your most intelligent people also the wealthiest?
Why don’t people do what they enjoy…
Why aren’t people more productive and creative?
Why do you kill yourselves?
Why do you believe in UFO’s but not in God?
We can’t help you,
An Alien!
Time Off
Dear W.O.W.,
I grew up before video games. And then I got my first pong. Later, I graduated to Space Invaders and Pac Man. But along came computers.
Still, I limited myself to Solitaire and Mine Sweeper. Well, come to find out, my graphics card sucked: I upgraded.
A friend downloaded World of Warcraft. My first complaint: A huge download. It took soooo long! Then, he let me make a character on his account. My second complaint: Leveling up was a bitch.
My third complaint… learning all the buttons. I don’t like using a keyboard. Why can’t this be set up for a game controller? Well, at least moving is easy: Point and click.
But, I get lost on the map. The compass is strange: If I’m going north, I turn left (or right). But if I’m going south I have to turn right (the opposite direction)! And why can’t I climb over the mountains? Or when I die, why can’t I fly?
Complaints, complaints. All the places around a town have low level beasts. I need a town to get an inn. But I need high level beasts to level up. So… too much walking. Finally, 15$ a month is too much to pay!
The concept is simple. And the graphics are stunning. Plus, the whole is well executed: Quests to familiarize me with the map. And rewards to keep me fighting mobs I’d otherwise give up on. Still, it’s all so time consuming. And the point?
I’m fighting now to get cool threads (believe it or not). And I’m walking around to look at the scenery. I find low level bad-guys because the fighting is easier. Thus, I’m not moving up very quickly.
Or maybe I’m staying at a lower level to fight other players in arenas where fighters are grouped by level and having a higher level would mean I’d have to fight higher level players.
Did I say “It’s addictive”?
Wow,
Me!
Bla Blah Blog
Dear Me,
I don’t want to write a letter to myself. I’m tired of the internet. I’m tired of keeping all my sites updated. I’m tired. I’m behind. I haven’t dropped cards in 3 days. I’ve been playing games. I’ve been watching movies. I’ve been cleaning house. I’ve had people over.
Well, I’m tired of having people over too. But I’ve done well. I’ve let them in. I haven’t complained. True, I haven’t offered them food or drink. Though, generally, they bring their own pop with them.
Kevin and Kyle came over: I sent them away. Scott came over but without his girlfriend and so I wonder if I said something to upset her. Scott did bring friends over (late). But like I said, I didn’t complain. I just “went with the flow”. I only got anxious when the time approached 3 am. And so I slept in the next day. And took a nap (like I said, “I’m tired”).
Yesterday, the Pruetts came over (their son/daughter was over a couple of times this week). They brought me some chowder. And today, the Priest is coming by to cook wheat with fruit for a special service and fellowship (well, to “talk” with me too… something of a confession, I guess). But, at least, these things are daytime things! And, at least, I have my housecleaning caught up.
Boring. Why do people write boring things in their blogs? Why am I ashamed to admit that I “blog”? What is a blog, anyway? If it’s a personal diary, then why would anyone else want to read it? And if it’s not, then why would someone write one (in the first place)? Why do I write?
I like people who blog to help themselves heal. They heal from mental illness. They give tips on living a healthy life. I don’t do these things.
I also like people who blog to “practice writing”. They write good fiction, their writing style improves, they use humor, and they tell good stories. I don’t do this either.
Or, perhaps I do both. Perhaps writing is restful. Surely it is an escape. I think as long as I have something to say I’ll keep blogging. So what is it I “say” (or what have I said):
- Nothing
- Ever
- Changes
- Except
The internet. Virtual reality. And my desktop wallpaper. My blogs: They’re updated. It’s how time passes. And how I know that things change. I see this change in myself and I’m…
Not Tired Anymore,
Brett
Ashamed
Dear Visitor to my Church,
You’re probably Protestant?
In your church; you come in, sit down, listen to the preacher, get up and leave.
When you come into our church:
Do you understand how we enter?
We cross ourselves.
How do we cross ourselves?
Right to left.
Do you know how to venerate?
Three bows and kiss the icon.
Do you know where to sit?
Men on the right and women on the left.
Sit or stand? Standing is easier otherwise…
Stand when it says to in the book.
Which book?
Blue (hardback) on Sundays.
Blue (paperback) on Wednesdays.
And green (paperback) on Saturdays.
Which parts do you sing?
The priest parts are indicated.
We switch from the front, to the back, to the cover, to the back again, then the front (again).
But you have to know which “tone” and which “saint” to find the parts in the back.
Check the board and the calendar when you come in.
What can a non Orthodox do?
- You can kiss the Gospel book.
- You can kiss the cross after service.
- You can take the bread if it is offered to you.
You can’t take communion. You will learn our music (in about 3 years time). You may learn our terminology though even the church fathers disagree on the meaning of some of the terms. You will come to recognize some, but surely not all, of the saints depicted on our icons. And you will find that we don’t follow certain widely held beliefs (evolution, for example). Plus, our members will be slow accepting you into the community.
Welcome (lol),
A Penitent
What Ails You?
Dear Medicine Man,
- My stomach is nauseous.
- I drink too much coffee.
- I smoke cigarettes.
- I wake up with shoulder pains.
- I sleep on a mattress that’s too soft.
- I eat processed foods.
- I don’t always wash my hands after cutting up chicken.
I’ve stumbled across these alternative medicines on the web: Reiki. Aromatherapy. Oh, I see meditation and yoga are now mainstream?
And there are the blogs written by people who have mental illnesses. Apparently they are cured through writing? Me to (apparently, I mean)!
Plus there are the Wiccans. Except I hardly see them casting spells online. Not for what ails me, anyway.
What I’d like to know is this:
- Why is there disease in the first place?
- Why is “medicine” such big business?
- What is my disease, and…
- What is the cure?
- And what is the prognosis?
Thanks,
Patient
