Dear Movie Industry,

I like free downloads.  Don’t hold that against me.  I’ve seen old movies that I would have otherwise missed.  I can watch sequels “all in a row” and (I think) get a better impression of them that way.  I can watch movies I might not otherwise afford.  And I watch movies that I wouldn’t otherwise watch.  All of this must be good for the movie business?

So, I notice things about movies that I might otherwise have missed.  There’s an animation trend.  There are more independent movies.  Young people have their own movies.  Young girls are finally able to see movies that feature their age group and interests.  And so, seasoned actors are starring in these kinds of movies (independent movies:  animations and other films appropriate for children, and especially girls).

I’ve come to appreciate romances more (independent children’s movies mostly appropriate for girls).  And I can see the multicultural flair that they inspire (though often I have to read the sub-titles, lol).  And so I want to “thank” you for sissifying the world… turning everyone into a bunch of little girls.

But what happened to…

Action films:  They’ve become comic-book films about super heroes (generally with a female hero incongruously thrown into the mix).

Horror films:  They’ve become skin-flicks where big-breasted women are stalked by “monsters” (generally men) and where the hero (generally a woman) stumbles out of harms way… dumbly and innocently.

Science Fiction films:  They’ve become fantasy films with sparkly unicorns and GOOD witches (girls with the power to become mermaids and other cute animals).

Romance:  These feature stories about good girls who get married to bad men and, in spite of having the wedding they’ve always dreamed of, end up with a high-paying career and (ironically) rich boyfriends on the side who “take care of them”.

Cartoons:  They’ve been mostly geared toward little girls since She Ra debuted as the beautiful counterpart to that homo, He Man in the 80’s (and before, since all the little girl cartoon characters have always had boyfriends… back to the time of Minnie Mouse and Olive Oil).   Oh, now we have Japanese cartoons (the same).  Which brings me to the point…

In the East, women “rule”.  In the western world, it’s men.  And the influence of places like Japan (anime) and China (porn and tentacles) has led to an influx of “cartoon porn”.  So, on the one hand I want to thank you (as I’ve said):  I’ve learned to appreciate this perspective.  But, on the other hand, I’d just like to say:  Bring back the “good ‘ol American film”!

Boys need characters like those portrayed by John Wayne, Bruce Lee, and Arnold Schwarzenegger (Conan, not Kindergarten Cop).  They need heroes.  Yes, we need to promote equality of the sexes; but, not at the expense of testosterone.  We’ve turned to gangsters and soldiers in a quest for heroes.  And women will suffer for this, in the end, when men start “pimping” and “raping and pillaging” (as we surely will to re-assert our masculinity).

Thanks,

Movie Fan