Re: Mercy
Dear Hooter,
Re: “This is too serious. It isn’t pleasant to read. You talk about your mother too much. And no one cares!” (An “anonymous” comment to On Going Crazy).
I realize that the part about my mother was at the climax of the story on my going crazy. However, the resolution of the story did not address my mother directly. I thought the resolution suggested I was unhappy in my home (and only indirectly does home suggest mother). Though truly, I’m not sure what it is that caused me to go crazy in the story.
If taken out of context the confusion about my mother represents, simply, confusion. And surely, there is a common theme of religion throughout. So, if taken literally, the part about the devil suggests that the devil, himself, drove me crazy. Thereby, the malady becomes religious delusion; whereby, delusion defines crazy and home suggests heaven.
On the other hand, mother might refer to women (in general). As such, it comes to suggest a “moving away from home”. That is the story might show how a boy grows into a man, leaves his mother behind, and comes to see women as sex objects. Thus, the confusion would regard how it is that a man should treat a woman. And the bit about dying in one’s home (or finding another) would represent domestication (marriage, family, and children).
As an aside, my theory about cursing (and, perhaps being cursed) is that such exclamatory words as “Oh my God” and “Heaven forbid” are how people who are separated from God nonetheless attempt to come to terms with him … in their own distorted way. This is to say (and I hope the story shows this to be the case) saying “God” (even “God Damn”) isn’t so much cussing as it is praying! As I write this, though, I wonder if — in fact — the story shows that I have been cursed. But what would this mean, exactly? Who has cursed me? How and why?
My Priest says “Lord have mercy” means (simply) “Love me”. And I ended the piece with that complimentary close. So, finally, this letter to myself might be about love. As such, I don’t think it is nearly so gruesome as you seem to suggest that it is in your comment! I’ve led the reader down a dark path to a serene and peaceful place. And I end this very letter on a similarly positive note.
Have Mercy,
The Author
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