Comitragedy
Dear God,
I know you’re busy but… Well, there’s this group online that talks about you. And I stopped by their site. They find things about other religions they don’t like. In the process, they build themselves up. I started leaving comments on their site. I thought that would be ok. But after a short time, I started getting angry. Just this morning, I felt myself slip from being happy to being sarcastic when I thought about some of the things they say about Charismatics (They say charismatics are mediums because they speak in tongues. I said THEY were diviners because they “search the scriptures”). And now I’m back in “hater” mode. To change the subject…
Some religions worship the holy spirit, some the father, and some the son. These diviners and mediums, they like the spirit. Most protestants seem to like the son. I guess my church worships the father: My priest tells the children to do what their fathers tell them to do (anyway, seems like father worship). Personally, I talk to God (well sometimes to Jesus). But this morning I got confused. First I said “OH MY GOD!” (or is that cursing… oops). Then I said “thanks” (to God) but felt guilty. So I said “hi” to Jesus, too. Seems having just one god would make things easier?!?!?
And what is this stuff about sin? Is it a sin to “drive on the left side of the street”? Or is that only a sin in the States and not in Europe? I’ve heard sex is a sin: So why is it that married people aren’t sinners? The pope doesn’t have sex, does he? Anyway, the craziest thing is when I hear it is a sin to touch myself: Seems that’s just a fornicator rule (to keep breeders in power and make married people feel rightious)! Will I really go blind?
It was easier when I didn’t think about these things. Back then, nothing I did was a “sin”. And I could watch TV without feeling guilty! Now, I can’t even think without feeling bad (about something). And I feel obligated to go to church (first it was just on Wednesdays, then also on Sundays, then also on Saturdays, then on Wednesdays, Sundays, Saturdays, and days with special services). My friends don’t do this. My counsellor says “What makes people think they NEED to go to church?” (I don’t know). And I feel ashamed when I talk about church around my family or others who aren’t so compulsive about such things.
Another crazy thing: This “devil” and “antichrist” bit. If there were no God or Jesus, then such terms as devil and antichrist would make no sense. Did religion invent them? Did God create them? I don’t want anyone to be tortured “forever” (nor for the world to go through “trials and tribulations”). Why do religious people think they’re better than me and why do they want others to go to “hell” (revenge?). If I said “go to hell” wouldn’t that be a “sin”? Well anyway, going to church makes me think about hell and the devil (I never gave these things much thought before): That can’t be healthy!
Should I ask for a “Mercedes Benz”? I know some preachers who drive fancy cars: They say “This isn’t my car, this is JESUS’ car”. Does Jesus NEED a car?
Amen,
An Orthodox Christian
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