Archive for July, 2007
Reinvention versus Who am I kidding?
I've lost my listener, as the local radio DJ might say. How would I reinvent my journaling style? It might be to move to strictly storytelling. I've tried to do that in other journals, but keep returning, because, to me, the journey is more fun than whatever story evolves. That's probably why I liked Stephen King's books on writing more than his other works, because they describe the development of writer as well as the work.I journal with some wariness. Having an interest in dreams cause some people around here to declare to others that the dream conference I wanted to go to was my Wiccan meeting. It's an incredibly diverse group of people at the conference, from scientists and psychologists to artists with all sorts of belief systems framing their dialogues. I missed the meeting this year, simply running out of time to arrange for travel. I'm not Wiccan, actually. During that same week, another person said "you are who you associate with." We were discussing society, not any particular religion. I didn't agree, but everyone else did. In my mind flashed scenes from "Invasion of the Body-Snatchers" and Donald Sutherland is shrieking and pointing..at me.
Being a little displaced from any social group, people tend to place me wherever they think I fit. It's often more of an intriguing, discussible hole than I would peg in reality.
Perception is frightening, like Frankenstein's monster. It's so curious. People accused of crime seem to be tried by the public through the news, or ignored because of lack of a sympathetic audiences. The lives of TV and cinema stars are developed and destroyed. Even when evidence for crimes seem circumstantial, the accused are as good as guilty.
In my little journal, I pretty much associate with no one. Does it make me nobody? Maybe. I'm not sure if that's a bad thing.
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Reinvention - I'm blond...looks good. People tell me that my hair color looks more natural to my skin than dark hair, and that I look 20 years younger. Yay! Perception and deception together again.
I'm depressed. I do believe that (if you have a tendency to be insecure) improving your looks will help you feel better about yourself. It doesn't help alot, but can be enough to nudge a person into moving forward if they are stuck. It actually hasn't helped me yet, but I've been down here awhile.
I got 108% of the class possible score in my Cost Accounting course. The instructor issued some extra credit points. Yay!
Other than that, everything else feels pretty awful. Get up, get up, get up.
